STORY: OUR SISTERS' KEEPER

I got to the roundabout and asked my driver to find a good parking spot so I could dash into the little neighborhood market to buy fruits. At 11am, there wasn’t the usual chaos that is a norm on most Lagos roads. We found a good spot and I picked my handbag and rummaged quickly for my sunglasses, as the sun had crashed through the thick clouds. As I scanned the little shops beside me, I thought I saw the back of a young girl that looked very familiar. She was tall, slim, light in complexion with a graceful carriage. Then she turned sideways and I said to myself ‘No it couldn’t possibly be’. The reason?
This young woman was visibly pregnant. I started to walk past. The girl turned fully and I saw her face. My legs stopped short, my heart started racing, my mouth hung agape and I shook my head. ‘There must be a mistake. This could not be Aisha“(not real name). A few weeks back when I saw her at the salon, she was nowhere near pregnant. She was a bright bubbly young woman who called me Mummy and bustled around serving me toast bread and Fanta. Then she saw me, walked towards me and bent down to greet me. “Good morning Ma” she said with a sad smile. She did not look into my face. “Good morning Aisha. Is what I think I am seeing what I am seeing”, I asked. “Are you pregnant?” “Yes Mummy”, she answered. “How, when, who did this to you”, I was rambling and not quite coordinating what I was saying. I knew it. I was in total shock.

I’m asking ….. What happens to school and your NECO exam that we discussed last time… Who is responsible for this? Are you going to marry him? What are your plans now? So many questions were tumbling one after the other from my lips and not necessarily giving her enough time to respond before I shot out the next one. I was dazed. My heart was in turmoil for this young girl who circumstances had thrust into premature adulthood. She will very soon join the teeming population of teenage mothers. I was sad and near to tears.

I noticed Aisha at my salon almost 2 years ago. She looked different from the typical salon girls. She stood out in the manner she carried her self and interacted with customers. I observed her for a few months before I called her and asked her name and requested for her telephone number. I needed to understand her mission in a hairdressing salon because she clearly was different. It turned out she had finished her secondary education and had the ambition of going to university. The salon was a time-filler and an attempt to acquire additional skills. I was impressed and kept a tab on her progress and preparation. And now this!

This piece is to the guys – our sons, brothers, uncles, buddies, would-be-fathers, etc. When you are ‘playing’ with that girl, remember that the game could compromise the rest of her life. And choose sparring partners who match your state of maturity. While a teenage pregnant girl becomes a mother regardless of her age, the boy is still a ‘boy/guy’ with all the nonchalance and irresponsible behaviour the title accords. You have no baby to breastfeed, rock to sleep, nurse when ill, take for immunization, etc. You can afford to play football every evening and weekends with your friends, watch Premier League and live without a care in the world. The girl becomes a woman along with accompanying appendages. My young Aisha’s dreams are on pause for, at best, another two (2) years; perhaps, much longer. Worse still, she might forfeit her dreams, if her parents are unable or unwilling to shoulder the added responsibility. When I asked Aisha what next, marriage was not part of the deal with her ‘man’. She will live with her parents. Imagine the pain of her parents!

You can be your sisters’ keeper by protecting the girls/ladies you are ‘playing’ with. Consider how drastically her life could change if you forget to be sane. For you it’s a game. For her it’s the rest of her life. And it may have cost you next to nothing. I hear these days recharge card is sufficient. Or ice cream and pizza. Or even a cinema outing and fast food. Is it enough to cost some gullible young woman the best years of her life? Think about it! So when next you wish to indulge, consider the cost to your ‘play mate’. Purpose in your heart, to be, your sister’s keeper. Anything short of that is taking advantage of ……..

Story Credit: My Mentor